Friday, April 22, 2016

Quotes and Action Steps Series (#14) “A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval”. (Mark Twain)

Mark Twain (via Wikipedia)
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval”. (Mark Twain)
What does that mean?

A 3 old years kid usually does not need other people’s approval to understand that his drawing or his modeling is amazing.
(The same story is with the appearance. He doesn’t think that he has a big nose or small eyes, that he is too tall or too short, etc.)

However later children ask moms and dads about their work.
 It looks like they are not quite sure if it is good enough.
Rarely do they hear the answer: “And how do you think?” Mostly parents answer: “Surely it’s wonderful!”

As children move through childhood, the approval from parents, peers, teachers influences them more and more.

 A desire for approval becomes a basic human feature. 

And very often people have lack of approval from within (their own approval or self-approving).

(Self-approving is approving one’s own action or character by one’s own judgment).

That’s why they need so much approval from without (from other people).

But the better solution is to find out why you are having difficulty approving yourself and try to fix it.

Where can I apply this in my life?

Once you are able to give yourself approval, you will likely find that the approval of others becomes less important.

What type of photographer are you? 

Do you need a client’s/a viewer’s compliments or do you know yourself when you’ve done a good job?
It’s about where you get that sense of approval – from the outside or from within.
If you feel like you know your photography is good, you are internally validated photographer with confidence about your work. You have a high level of self-approving and you have lower level of anxiety in general.

 Imagine this:
You worked hard on a photo project with a good idea that made you excited. You spent hours taking photos. When you finished, you liked your job.

But then your viewers started commenting. And unfortunately most people really didn’t like your work at all.
Well, that’s not a fun situation for either type of photographer, with approval from without or with approval from within.
 The point is that each type of photographer will react very differently to this scenario.
A photographer with high level of self-approval might be a little stung. He could argue with the viewers. He could try to point out the nuances of his project. But he wouldn’t be crushed by hard criticism. And he will be able to start a new project.
And a photographer with approval from without would be crushed.

Believe yourself. Find the approval from within.

The more you bring approval back to yourself so that you get it from within, the more control you’ll have over your ability to create without needing anyone’s approval.

Thank you for reading!

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Best wishes!

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